After Betsy’s divorce, she was eager for a fresh start with a solid, healthy relationship, so she figured she should start dating again. Unfortunately, dating was harder than she thought. Her relationships fizzled out or crashed and burned. Most of the men she met didn’t seem to want a serious relationship. She began to wonder if her friends were right—were all the good men truly taken?
If you’re nodding along with Betsy’s story, know that there is hope. Despite the obstacles, finding true love after 40 happens all the time.
Unfortunately, many women over 40 assume their chances of finding love shrink as they age. Our youth and beauty-obsessed culture demands that we live up to increasingly unrealistic standards. So, when we start to sag, wrinkle, have children, or gain weight, we worry that we won’t be attractive to men.
If that isn’t bad enough, the ways to meet men may have changed since you were last single. Meeting men through your friends or family can be hard and might not work. You might want to consider online dating which has its own special challenges.
Worse, everybody has a different opinion about how you should conduct your dating life. The landscape of dating has changed so much in the last 60 years that even dating experts don’t agree!
Luck isn’t the defining factor either. How you approach finding love makes a huge difference, at any age.
Is it hard to find love after 40? Yes, it can be hard, but you can do it. Here are 7 important secrets to finding love after 40:
1- Perservere
If you want to improve your chances of finding love after 40, you need to be persistent. It’s the determination to push through obstacles that often leads to success in building meaningful relationships. Giving up always undermines your journey.
2- Have a Positive Mindset.
You can’t afford to buy into the toxic cultural messages that women are bombarded with daily. With all the cultural pressure to look young and thin, many women feel like they need to lose weight or have expensive beauty treatments before they can start dating again. But if you want to find love after 40, why would you let a few wrinkles and pounds get in your way?
Maybe your feelings about your appearance are just a symptom of how you feel that you don’t measure up. Some women assume any rejection means, “men don’t find me attractive.” That conclusion is bad for your love life. It assumes you are powerless to change your situation because men hold all the cards. You’re probably missing other factors that contribute to your lack of success. If men really don’t click with you, it may be more about the way you interact with them, and that you can change.
Many men want to discover the inner you and are not focused on your appearance. Some even prefer women with some meat on their bones or older women with similar experiences to theirs. You may want to address a fear of rejection or some beliefs about your value and what you have to offer a man. You have a lot more to offer than how you look.
3- Meet People.
One way to consistently meet quality men to date is to improve your social network. You can go to singles parties to meet men and women. The more single women friends you have, the more likely you’ll get invited to some parties where you can meet single men.
The only way to meet men without leaving the comfort of your home is online dating. Dating online is a perfectly reasonable way to meet men, but it shouldn’t be your only approach. Having supportive single women friends can also help you cope with the ups and downs of being a single woman over 40.
4- Don’t grill men.
The best way to get a second date is to be a pleasant companion on the first. Don’t turn your dates into a job interview where he must answer tough, personal questions. Try and have some fun. You’ll make a better impression if you’re genuinely interested in getting to know him as a person rather than whether he meets your criteria for Mr. Right. If you’re tempted to ask a lot of questions, maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt. Don’t push men away.
5- Don’t take yourself off the market without the commitment you want.
If you want to find true love after 40, don’t settle for less. When you make a premature commitment to a man who isn’t sure he wants to be committed to you, you’re taking yourself off the market for a roll of the dice.
You might have a very small window of opportunity to meet a man who is ready and right for you. Don’t take yourself off the market and miss it. Timing is everything.
6- Expect disappointment and rejection.
Of course, you will experience disappointment, rejection, and pain in relationships. We all do. Try to bounce back from these setbacks. If you can’t handle the pain, and want to stop dating because of it, you may need some help. To be successful with dating, you must keep doing it until you succeed. If you just came out of a difficult relationship, you may still be recovering and need some time.
7- Don’t delay getting help.
Many women hesitate to get the help they need. They might feel it’s a sign of weakness or have trouble asking for help. However, delaying support prolongs your frustration and loneliness unnecessarily. When you acknowledge the value of your happiness and fulfillment, it can help you to overcome these barriers and embrace the transformative journey towards finding lasting love.
Bottom Line
Your dating journey can be a valuable learning experience. Embrace the road before you as a challenge and an opportunity for growth rather than something to dread, and you too can live happily ever after.
Your Next Success Steps:
Get expert help in addressing your dating issues if you find you’re repeating similar patterns with men or not getting the results you desire. Dating may be more complicated than you think. Don’t let frustration or confusion hold you back from finding the fulfilling relationship you deserve.
Ever worry that being a divorced woman over 40 puts you at a disadvantage? Believe it or not, your age has major advantages. Grab my FREE report to discover them: Dating Over 40? Know Your 7 Secret Advantages.
