The way your potential partner perceives you is influenced by a lot more than the way you look. While looks can have a say in the immediacy of chemistry, there are plenty of other factors that have a strong say as well.
In many cases, troubled relationships can be improved by simply putting in the effort to decrease tension and add some humor. When you have the ability to be playful, you essentially have an amazing social skill that can be leveraged in virtually any form of relationship and situations, including romantic ones.
But, how can fun and play improve your dating life and maybe even relationships? Here are 5 major ways:
Playful Dating and Relationships Way #1: Attracting a Partner
You’re far more likely to enjoy spending time with a partner if you’re having fun with them. It’s why a good sense of humor makes the top of the list things a lot of people look for in a partner.
There are differences in how they appreciate a partner’s humor. Women are more likely to want a man who can make them laugh while men often look for a woman who appreciates their jokes. This all boils down to flirting: when you’re laughing at the guy’s joke, you show him you’re interested, and that’s a message he can hear loud and clear. To you, it feels good to be around someone who is trying to entertain you and make you feel happy, while the guy’s getting essential cues to move forward with the date.
But, what happens when you don’t like his sense of humor? Well, that can help you too. Pay attention to the things he says that don’t feel comfortable, even if they’re said as a joke. If he has a tendency to tease others in a way that puts them down, or is too critical, at some point he will start criticizing you too, only not as a joke!
Some people will also joke to avoid discussing a painful situation, but there’s a time and place for that. If he uses it to avoid talking about his feelings or acknowledging yours, this is a pretty big red flag that the guy may not be emotionally mature enough. Imagine you come home from work really upset that you just got fired, and start talking to him about your worries for the future. And in response, imagine the guy making jokes instead of acknowledging your worries and trying to offer reassurance! That’s not a great dynamic at all.
Playful Dating and Relationships Way #2: Helps Bonding
Being playful means having genuine fun with the person beside you, which is an incredible way to help two people bond. When partners have a similar sense of humor, that’s often a sign of good compatibility, and while there are other factors to consider as well, you’re on the right path.
Laughing together helps the both of you really connect and get close to each other.
Playful Dating and Relationships Way #3: Decreases Tension
Using humor to cope with tension is a tried and tested way people can navigate a difficult situation. In fact, women who use humor to cope with tension in their marriage reported more marital satisfaction.
Humor and play can often help de-escalate certain conflicts, as it can be soothing to hear a joke while there’s tension in the air. In a way, the joke itself is a way of saying everything is fine.
Playful Dating and Relationships Way #4: Improves Relationship Satisfaction
If you and your significant other enjoy revisiting shared experiences or surprising each other with a nickname, that can greatly help the relationship. Dr. John Gottman has been studying happy and unhappy couples to identify key differences between them for over 40 years, and he’s now able to predict with 90% accuracy which stay together, and which end up divorcing.
There’s a key to his prediction: the “magic” ratio of 5:1. Basically, for each negative interaction during conflict, a happy marriage has five or more positive interactions. While negative moments can’t be fully avoided in any type of relationship, couples who experience more laughter and playfulness (which are very positive interactions) during conflict seem to have more chances of staying together long-term, as they improve relationship satisfaction.
Playful Dating and Relationships Way #5: Enhance Communication
It’s not just what you say – it’s how you say it. Adding a bit of playfulness can help you communicate with your partner better. He’s much more likely to be receptive to what you have to say if you use a softer and playful tone of voice, as opposed to something more aggressive which could lead him to become defensive.
Of course, there’s a time and a place for playfulness here as well, but adopting a more fun tone can be key to not letting minor inconveniences escalate into a full-blown argument.
Want to become more playful? The good news, the first step’s already been taken, since you’re now more aware of how this skill can help your dating life and relationships. If you have difficulties adding a touch of fun in dating, leave us a comment below so we can try to help you in the comments.
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