Picture this: you’ve just met someone and your chemistry is through the roof. He’s not the most reliable man and you know deep in your heart that he’s not a good match long-term.
But, what harm can a brief relationship do? You’re just having a bit of fun, right?
Many women don’t consider the toll a short term relationship can take on them. They just think he’s cute or think they have a lot in common. Or maybe they’re having a dating dry spell and think someone to date is better than no one at all. Others delude themselves into believing that they can change the guy by being more patient or understanding than his previous girlfriends.
But, here’s the hard truth:
Dating a commitment-phobic man is not as simple and harmless as you may think. This decision requires a little more consideration and you should take some time to think it over.
Why Dating a Commitment-Phobic Man Is a Bad Idea
Before you decide to get emotionally involved with a man who doesn’t have a promising history of commitment, consider the downside and take a good look at the risks to you and your wellbeing.
1- Lost Time
All the time you spend dating a commitment-phobic man who wants no future with you is time you could be spending trying to find a man who truly loves you and wants to be with you. If you also get attached to him, it might take some time to get over the breakup and work on yourself so that you’re ready to meet the right partner for you.
Wouldn’t you rather get started on that process sooner rather than kick the can down the road?
2- Lost Self Esteem
In a go-nowhere relationship, your feelings are always at risk of being hurt. He isn’t likely to bring flowers or give you lovey-dovey cards. He doesn’t surprise you by thinking about how to make you happy. Frankly, he just doesn’t feel as loving toward you and that hurts. It can take a swipe at your self-esteem. Why doesn’t he care more? If you tell him it bothers you, he may apologize or he may not, but he may not really be able to change his behavior. Although you’re dating a commitment-phobic man, you might find ways to blame yourself for his lack of interest.
3- You Lie to Yourself
It’s hard to stay in this kind of relationship unless you’re lying to yourself in some way. Maybe you think it can work when it doesn’t, or you simply try not to think about the future as if it doesn’t matter to you. Lying to yourself will only create more problems and make it more difficult to find a man who is right for you. It also makes it harder for you to solve your problems and improve your life when you can’t face a situation as it truly is.
4- You Don’t Honor Your Feelings
Rather than really acknowledge how you feel, you might make excuses for him like, “He’s scared of commitment because of his parent’s messy divorce.” When you excuse him, you’re essentially saying to yourself, “My feelings don’t count.”
No matter what his problems are, you deserve to be with someone who loves you. Dating a commitment-phobic man is bound to be emotional, so you need to take a close look at your feelings first and be honest with yourself, even if it hurts sometimes.
There’s really no avoiding the grief of loving a man who can’t fully reciprocate your feelings. Dating a commitment-phobic man can easily break your heart even when you are aware of his issues.
Is the Risk Worth Taking?
What do you think? Is he worth the problems that are coming if you decide to go for that fling or to date someone who won’t be able to return your feelings?
Do you need some help figuring out if he can commit so you can protect yourself and avoid these men? Leave us a comment below.
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