As I’ve told you before, this may be the best time in your life to find love. But how do you get what you want from dating?
A lot of women have written to me saying they don’t have the looks, success, or confidence to date. Here’s the thing: those aren’t the secrets to success.
Our society has created this myth that you must be confident to get what you want, but it’s simply not true. While it’s true that a little more confidence can help you in the process, you shouldn’t put off dating anymore, just because you think you have to have confidence first.
The best way to build that confidence is by confronting real situations, with a bit of preparation. And the most important preparation is the mindset.
If you want to get what you want from dating, just follow these simple steps:
1- Have Clarity
Knowing what you actually want is the first step toward a better approach to dating. In order to achieve a fulfilling result, you have to adapt your efforts to match your intentions. You simply can’t get where you’re going without some idea of what you want.
Do you want a long term relationship or something that won’t last long? What kind of things do you want to have in common with your partner? What are the deal-breakers that you can’t live with, in a partner?
Be honest with yourself. Look for these qualities in every potential partner, especially if your date has a deal-breaker or two.
Don’t overlook red flags just because you’re lonely. Cuffing season is approaching and many of us might feel vulnerable as winter holidays are closer. You can avoid making bad decisions out of an emotional need by focusing on what you want from a relationship.
2- Be a Good Date
Since you can’t always tell if a man is Mr. Right until you get to know him, it’s always important to be a good date. You want the chance to have a second date, even if you’re on the fence about him during the first one.
All of us have bad days, or bad luck in a certain situation, especially when being in a pressuring context like dating someone who seems promising. If your date has a bad day and you judge them too harshly, you might miss out on someone who can be wonderful.
Do select your filters and what flaws are non-negotiable, though. It’s one thing if he accidentally spills his drink on his lap, and another if he is being rude to the waiter.
If you’re polite, respectful, and appreciative during your encounters, you’ll be able to handle any date that comes your way. That will improve your confidence and strengthen your guiding dating principles.
3- Roll with Rejection
Rejection is simply a part of dating that can’t be avoided. Even supermodels get rejected. Everyone is looking for somebody who’s a good match for them, so there’s no way you’re going to be a good fit for all of them. Just like every man you meet won’t be right for you either. Rather than take rejection personally, try to see it as simply the nature of dating.
4- Learn Whether He Can Commit to You
Many women decide a man is right for them before considering the most important factor of all: commitment. Can he and will he commit to you? This step is often overlooked, leaving a woman in a relationship where she doesn’t know where she stands.
The more you know about what to look for, the more you can avoid falling for a man who can’t commit or won’t commit to you. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself about what you want from a relationship.
5- Make Good Decisions
Getting what you want from dating is a process of making good decisions. If you’ve had a tendency to overlook red flags in men or to choose men who are emotionally unavailable, it might be time for you to address your old patterns.
You want to make decisions that will lead you to healthier, happier relationships. Looking at your past relationships can help you identify certain patterns and address your unhealthy mechanisms. Just remember to cherish yourself and choose the persons you deserve.
6- Practice Gratitude
Having a good mindset about dating will help you all along your journey. If you resent your date for not living up to all your expectations, you might miss out on a second date with a perfectly nice guy who just isn’t as tall as you’d hoped. Appreciate his good qualities and be grateful for the opportunity to meet a nice man.
It may not be easy to feel grateful during this pandemic. It’s understandable to be anxious or down sometimes, but it’s good to have a balanced perspective. All of us probably have something or someone in our lives that we can feel grateful about. Gratitude helps us cope.
7- Get Started
Are you someone who reads articles but holds back rather than putting tips like these into action? No man is going to come knocking on your door during a pandemic. You must take steps if you want to change your love life. What are your next steps going to be?
Get my free guide, How to Make a Good First Impression Video Chat Dating to find out how to start dating right NOW.