Dating Less? Maybe It’s a Good Sign


It’s easy for women to start to worry when things slow down in the dating department. I’ve had more than one patient on the road to becoming their own Brand of Sexy say to me, “Dr. Susan, what’s going on? I thought I’d be dating more often now, but instead…” These dry spells can lead many women to start to doubt themselves and their new outlook.

If you feel like you aren’t having as many dates as you would like, there’s no reason to get discouraged. In fact, it may mean you have embraced your own Brand of Sexy and are at a healthier place now than ever before.

Maybe you have less dates these days because:

  • You are impressively intimidating to many men.

    Whether he thinks he doesn’t deserve you, is afraid you’re going to eventually dump him, or feels bad about himself because you are more successful, many men don’t know how to handle a relationship with a confident woman who knows what she wants and what she deserves. His lack of confidence to ask you out on a date or follow-up dates is an easy way to know you probably wouldn’t have been well-matched anyway. Rest assured, there are men out there who not only appreciate confident women, but search them out.

  • You want a higher quality man.

    You’re no longer interested in immature men. When you’re pickier about the men you date, fewer of them are going to seem worthy of your time. Higher quality men are mature enough to love and support your self-confidence as well. Maybe you’ll have a date or two with someone new and lose interest, while in the past it took you longer to sort that out. You’ve basically become better at separating the wheat from the chaff.

  • You have more important goals.

    Finding love isn’t your main focus. Your primary agenda for the day isn’t a free meal and boring conversation with a hottie from the dating app. You want to spend the bulk of your time improving your life, your career, your health, happiness, and your relationships with the friends and family you already have in your life. Don’t go deleting all those dating apps though…

  • You know what you what.

    The clearer you are about what you want, the more likely you are to find it. That means stressing over fewer unnecessary dates, turning down some blind dates that you know won’t work out, and maybe even spending less time with your friends. Decide how you want to be treated and stick with that.

  • You’re unique.

    Finding the right match for a unique personality isn’t easy – it takes some of us a lifetime! The more special you are, the more special your partner must be to make a good match. Have patience and know that if you are out there in the dating pool, the right, unique partner for you is out there watching and waiting as well. You’re like a hidden treasure that he has to work to find.

Patience is a virtue, but we all know that waiting can be very hard. Have some faith that all the work you’ve been doing on yourself is paying off. It also helps to remember that you should be proactive too. Consider ways you can be approachable and sociable at a level that is both comfortable for you and welcoming to others. Be your own brand of sexy!

Interested in learning more about our community? Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter with blog updates (with exclusive insights by Dr. Susan!) and interesting discussions on everything dating. Connect with me and others like yourself on the Be Your Own Brand of Sexy Facebook and Twitter pages.

If you haven’t already, you might also want to read my book: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution for Women. Having earned several literary awards and positive reviews, Be Your Own Brand of Sexy is one of Amazon’s top 500 Books on Relationships and called “a must have book for all women dating or looking to date”.

Looking for a bit of easy inspiration? A friendly face to say you can do it, today and every day? My YouTube channel may have just what you need.

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