How to avoid the dreaded friend zone


It’s not just guys who get stuck in the dreaded friend zone. The friend zone is an equal-opportunity antagonist, dream-dasher, and hope-stealer to all people who want more than just friendship from a special someone. If you want more from a man than just his friendship, you never want to get stuck in the friend zone – that awful place where he wants to be “just friends.” 

When you want more from the relationship than he does, it’s sad, frustrating, and a huge confidence-shaker. But the friend zone is a normal part of dating. At some point in your dating journey, there will come a time when you experience the friend zone, and a dating partner isn’t as interested in you as you are in him, or vice versa. The friend zone is a part of the dating process. But if you always seem to find yourself in the friend zone with men, you might have a bigger issue on your hands than just the occasional lack of chemistry. If this keeps happening to you, it’s time to look a little deeper into why this keeps happening, and start digging for answers and solutions. 

What can you do to avoid the dreaded friend zone? Check out these top three, simple tips to get out of there and stay out of there for good once Mr. Right comes along. 

1. Be More Attractive

Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive. What does that even mean? I know it might sound harsh, but sometimes ending up in the friend zone is because you aren’t attractive to a potential partner.

I don’t want to put more pressure on you to look good. Our culture is obsessed with pressuring women into looking and dressing a certain way. It’s hurtful that society continues to insist that we meet totally unrealistic and unattainable beauty ideals. But there is a balanced way to approach this step. 

There’s a major difference between striving to attain an unrealistic beauty ideal and putting a little bit of effort into your natural appearance. 

If you make self-care a priority, your efforts will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Grooming, good posture, flattering clothes, and confident body language are much more effective for making yourself attractive to the opposite sex than getting a nose job. Most of the traits that make you attractive are changeable in some way. Whether it’s wearing a little bit of makeup to enhance your best features or changing your hairstyle to bring out your bone structure, simple things that are unique to you are what make you the most attractive to men. 

2. Be Realistic 

When you are realistic about your desirability, then you’re objective about what you can offer a partner. Being realistic also makes it much easier for you to find a dating partner who has a similar set of attractive traits. You’re way less likely to end up in the dreaded friend zone if you’re realistic because you’ll be interested in men who are a good match for you. You won’t waste your time on someone who is out-of-your-league and doesn’t hold the same attractive traits and values as you. 

3. Don’t Settle for Less

Be brave and confident enough to say “no” to the kind of relationship you don’t want. If the man you’re interested in states he is looking for a casual relationship and you want marriage, believe him. And, let him know that you’re not interested in a casual sex relationship. 

If he is only asking you out for weeknight-only dates, you know he is seeing other women, and you are not his top priority. You do not have to accept those dates! If you turn him down and he doesn’t make you a better offer, he’s not that into you. But if you keep accepting dates from him, you are letting him take you for granted and encouraging him to continue treating you as a casual date or “just a friend.”

Have you been stuck in the friend zone more times than you’d like to admit? Implementing these ideas into your routines and interaction with your dates will keep you out of that dreaded place. Are you already stuck in the friend zone with a guy you really like? Leave us a comment below for more tips. 

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