How to Stop Your Fear of Rejection from Hurting Your Love Life


Do you ever feel like you’re falling short of expectations? Like you can’t find love because you aren’t attractive, confident, or successful enough?

If your answer is “Yes”, you aren’t alone. Our culture makes it easy to confuse outer appearance, confidence, and success with inner happiness. If you think how you look is your issue, you’ve probably spent a lot of time dieting, working out, or a lot of money on beauty products or procedures. The problem is, those aren’t likely to be effective solutions because your looks are not the issue. A lack of confidence and success aren’t what’s standing in your way either.

In reality, you are probably terrified of rejection.

Why else would it matter so much how attractive, confident, or successful you feel? You can make a love life work without those qualities. It’s fear that is standing in your way and causing you to doubt yourself. Keep reading to see how you might begin to solve this problem and finally start to enjoy dating.

Why We Doubt Ourselves

Worrying about your looks or confidence takes away your attention from the most important issue blocking your progress – a fear that you will be rejected, for any reason really. Try to reflect on your inner dialogue. Do you often hear defeating thoughts like these echoing in your mind?

“What if he thinks I’m fat?”

“I’m too nervous to start dating.”

“He’ll probably think I’m not very smart.”

We’ve all been rejected because of our looks or some other reason. It’s just part of the dating process and life in general. You don’t want to let your fear of something inevitable keep you from moving forward. If you continue to have this perspective, you’ll never even take the first steps. Ultimately, your fear of rejection can sabotage your relationships, maybe even driving you to dump a good guy because you think he is about to reject you.

It’s much more important for you to take baby steps toward what you want than for you to stand still and worry about what isn’t perfect about yourself. No one is perfect, and that’s okay. You still love your imperfect friends and family, don’t you?

Start to Enjoy Dating by Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection

It’s time for you to join the rest of us in the land of imperfection.

You can get used to the idea that none of us are perfect and that you are worthy of love even if you aren’t already the person you hope to eventually be. You can relax and have fun without always feeling worried about being hurt. What’s the secret?

Remembering that dating is about learning and finding out what works for you! This should be your main concern.

If you can be more aware that many of your self-doubts come from your fear of rejection, you can remind yourself that avoiding rejection is not actually your #1 priority on a date. What you are looking to do is make your dates more fun and interesting by focusing more on enjoying yourself and learning something. You want to figure out if the man treats you the way you want to be treated, whether you consider yourself attractive, confident, and successful or not.

This can be a big step forward on your path to love, so if you even try to do it, please give yourself credit for making the effort. If it’s hard for you, more practice will help, so don’t quit trying even when the going gets tough. And remember, you are not alone on this journey – you’ve always got support from women going through the same sort of struggles in the Be Your Own Brand of Sexy community.

How to Celebrate Making Progress on the Path towards Love

To recognize your own progress on the paths towards self-confidence and a happy love life, it sometimes takes the help of a friend– someone to help you see the steps forward that you have taken and celebrate even your smallest successes. Luckily, you’ve got an entire community of friendly women in the BYOBOS community happy to cheer you on at every twist and turn, especially when you get stuck. In fact, right now you can win a dozen roses by interacting with the community and sharing the story of your attempt to make move forward on the path to love.

Sharing can help you celebrate your progress and maybe motivate others to do the same. You can submit your stories via email or video to be entered into the drawing for a dozen roses. Find more details about the drawing in the first video of my training series, How to Be Attractive to Men, No Matter How You Look. Your story may be shared with the BYOBOS community as an example of progress we are proud of (anonymously if requested)!

Consider this a challenge to make some progress today. What’s stopping you?

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