How do most women make their decisions about love? In many cases, they use a checklist or series of requirements a guy has to fulfill.
Tall? Check.
Handsome? Double check
Funny, smart, successful? Check, check, check.
While it’s reasonable and healthy to have standards, a lot of women make the mistake of writing off a good prospect because the guy isn’t “perfect” according to their predetermined checklist. Even worse, they might miss some serious red flags if a man meets the criteria on their list.
Women often make snap judgments and decide a bit too quickly if a person is right for them, failing to take the time they need to get to know someone’s character. It’s easy to tell right away if someone is tall or funny. But it takes time to know if he’s Mr. Right. It might be worth it to consider amending your list to include more critical factors that can help you more accurately determine if a guy is right for you.
What type of critical factors? These:
- He wants to make you happy.
A man who is really into you is going to make sure you’re both on the same page. He will make your needs a priority, and he will pay attention and consider whether or not you’re comfortable with his suggestions. A man who wants to make you happy will do nice things for you and help you when you need it without being resentful, or careless.
- He acts like a gentleman.
Because he wants to make you happy, he won’t do things that he knows will make you uncomfortable. A guy like this won’t bring up sexual topics or push you to do things before you’re ready. Is he topless in his online dating photo? Move along, nothing to see there.
- Mr. Right will see a future with you.
Mr. Right will let you know that he is interested in a long-term relationship with you. He will want a commitment, and you’re at ease because you know where he stands.
- He listens, observes, and remembers what you like.
The right one for you will want to learn and understand your likes and dislikes. He will remember what type of movies you enjoy, and what your favorite restaurant is. If the person you’re dating remembers details big and small about you, that’s a good sign. It indicates that he cares about you as an individual and wants to invest in the relationship.
- Does he care about your feelings?
If the person you’re dating criticizes, manipulates, or doesn’t care at all about how his actions or words affect you, that’s a bad sign. But if he tries to understand your feelings and makes an effort to treat you with care, he might be the right person for a long-term relationship.
- Do you trust him?
Is he honest with you? Do you get a straight answer when you ask him a question? Always trust your intuition on this matter. If what he says doesn’t add up or you have a bad feeling, then perhaps he’s not as honest as he appears. Again, figuring out someone’s character and integrity takes time. Be honest with yourself when it comes to trusting the honesty in others.
- You feel secure when you are with him.
Can you rely on him when things are going poorly? Does he help you and take care of you when you need it? If you’re concerned that you’ll always have to do the caretaking in the relationship, move on. Figuring this one out takes time, too. You will probably need to be with someone for a while before you can see how they handle a crisis, either one of theirs or one of yours.
- You have similar values.
Your chances of a successful long-term relationship are directly proportional to how much you share core values. If you can both agree on the big things like finances, kids or no kids, where to live, how to handle extended family dynamics, this is a good sign.
- He’s a good listener.
Communication is important for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. If you’re with someone who doesn’t care about what you have to say, how can you hope to work out serious, long-term issues?
- He loves the real you.
During the early stages of dating, it isn’t safe to reveal too much personal information. But after some time and once you start to trust him, it’s usually safe to begin revealing the ‘real’ you. When you reach a point in the relationship where you aren’t afraid to be yourself in more revealing ways, how does he react? His reaction will tell you whether or not you can continue trusting him and if the relationship has any long-term potential. If he still loves you, listens to you, cares for you, and respects you, those are good signs.
The more you listen to your instincts, are honest with yourself, and act as Your Own Brand of Sexy, the more apparent it will be to determine if he is the right one for you.
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