There’s all kinds of bad, contradictory advice out there about what to do when dating. How do you sort through it all? Start by recognizing that a huge part of the confusion around dating is due to the cultural pressures. We face to look sexy and be sexual, telling us that dating is all about physical attraction.
A lot of people just follow the crowd and date in what they think is the “normal” way, often entering into relationships and situations that make them uncomfortable. What we see on TV and what our peers tell us we should do may not work for everyone. Developing your gut instinct and learning what works for you are strong foundations in the dating process that will serve you in the long-term.
Here are some of my best tips to help you find your way in today’s modern dating jungle:
Avoid rushing into sex.
Getting physical too quickly may make you feel more vulnerable than waiting until you feel truly comfortable with your partner. This approach often leads to microwave romances that progress at lightning speed and ultimately explode in your face. Take time to get to know your new potential partner to see whether he’s a keeper or trouble.
Remember that inner beauty is WAY more important than external appearance.
Ninety-one percent of women are unhappy with how they look. When you’re focused on whether someone thinks you’re fat or in need of breast implants, you lose your desired mindset of confidence and strength. Don’t forget the qualities that make you wonderful, no matter what other opinions may be thrown at you.
Don’t hesitate to say “No”.
With a society that treasures women as universal caretakers, many of us have learned to respond to questions with anything but an outright “no”. Standing up to this pressure begins by turning down even a small request. Remember- you’re never going to get what you want unless you can say “no.”
Actions speak louder than words, for both you and your partner.
Take your partner’s words at face-value.Once he says he will do something, hold him to that and take serious note if he fails to follow through. On your side, if he doesn’t keep his end of the bargain, don’t hesitate to take action. You should not tell him you don’t like him texting you late at night for booty calls, for example, and he continues, just stop responding to them. If he isn’t respecting what you want in other ways also, you might consider ending the relationship.
If he doesn’t respect your feelings, he’s not a keeper.
Once you find the courage to tell him what’s bugging you and he responds with some version of “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I think you’re overreacting. Drop it”– it’s not a good sign. Women are more satisfied in their relationships when their partners try to understand their feelings, even if they don’t completely understand them. Empathy goes a long way.
Just remembering these 5 tips can already make a tremendous difference in the success you’ll have on your dating journey.
If you are looking for more empowering tips on how to be the best version of yourself and find the right partner, check out my book Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution for Women. It’s been called “a must have book for all women dating or looking to date” by Bestsellersworld.com.