Are you unsure about how to successfully date online? There are 5 secrets you need to know!
1-People lie. I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the bad news to you, but many men aren’t telling you the truth in their online dating profiles. The practice of deception is so common that there’s a TV show about it: The show researches couples who chat online but haven’t met in person, and they discover the shocking truths behind the fake photos and sweet talking. Surprise, surprise: sometimes they look nothing like their pictures. Sometimes they even misrepresent their gender! Which leads me to secret #2:
2-You have to be suspicious to protect yourself. Unless you’re a little suspicious, you’re an easy target for the people who lie. In order to protect yourself online, it’s important to keep your guard up. There are men online who are married or in relationships, and others just want sex. Some want to hack into your computer or scam you for money once you seem attached and trusting enough. There are also guys who are harmless, but who have no intention of ever actually asking you out – they just enjoy emailing and texting. Be suspicious of any men who want to email back and forth for a long period of time without ever suggesting that you meet in person. And, never click on links that men send you online (even if it’s to send you more pictures of him). If he’s genuine and truly interested in getting to know you, he will want to meet you. If he doesn’t want to make the relationship real by talking or meeting after a few emails back and forth, stop corresponding with him. Some women think that they should suggest meeting up or “have a talk,” but I don’t recommend this. Nothing good will come from a talk with someone who is dishonest or conflicted about meeting you.
3-Don’t lie in your profile, either. Fudging the truth in online profiles has become so common that this article says you should lie, too, but I don’t recommend it. I’m not saying you should spill all your deepest secrets right off the bat, but the information that you do put up should be true. When your picture doesn’t look like you, for example, it can be a big turnoff for a guy. Many women think, “Once he gets to know me, he won’t mind that I’m 10 lbs heavier than he thought (or 10 years older, etc)”. But most guys mind a lot. Because you’ve misrepresented yourself, they feel like you can’t be trusted. Don’t forget that old saying about only getting one chance to make a good first impression!
4-Don’t follow the dating service’s advice. Of course you should listen when they tell you things like not to give out personal info or to only meet in public places, but many sites also give a lot of other advice that isn’t great. Read Thursday’s blog to find out how online dating sites might be hurting you!
5-Don’t grill him. Many women think the way to find out about a man is simply to ask questions and assume every answer they get is the truth. But remember #1: people lie. You’re much more likely to get the truth if you don’t force it, especially when it comes to whether they can commit, how much they like you, and what kind of relationship they want. Women in a hurry for answers often say things like, “I’m looking for a serious relationship, how about you?” They may even ask this in their first few emails or phone conversations. This might seem like a good strategy in order to weed out the guys who don’t want the same thing as you, but he may just agree with you to please you or to get into your pants, which doesn’t actually give you any information about his interest in commitment. If you don’t force the issue, you often find that guys who want a relationship will ask you these kinds of questions. What’s your hurry? Take your time and let him show you what kind of guy he is.
My brand new ebook, What to Say to Men on a Date: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy, can help you figure out what to say to men who you meet online, which can help you be more successful. Some questions men ask may seem easy to answer, but in actuality they can lead to miscommunication, or give the wrong impression. This is why so many women aren’t always sure how to answer even the most basic questions from men.
What to Say to Men on a Date shows you EXACTLY what to say when asked common dating questions that sound simple, but are really loaded. This book gives you a variety of responses to choose from ranging from serious to playful, so that you can pick the perfect one for you. All the replies are designed to get you what you want. It includes basic dating questions that most single women regularly encounter, as well as advice on how to handle men who are upset, unreasonable, or who aren’t treating you well.
Tune in on Thursday for “What You Need to Know About How Online Dating Sites Can Hurt You.”
Start getting what you want from men. Be your own Brand of Sexy.