We live in a culture that is obsessed with youth and beauty. So, it’s no wonder that so many people feel pressured to look young and attractive for as long as possible. Feminist author Caitlin Moran asks, “Would women fret themselves half to death over how they look or who fancies them if this wasn’t the main thing we’re still judged on?”
And, because the world is the way it is, women start getting concerned about their desirability once they reach a certain age. To be frank, they feel the burden of this pressure much more than men, and they worry more about their chances of marrying once they pass over certain age thresholds.
What are your chances of getting married over the age of 40 or 45? You may be surprised to find out that it’s not as bad as you may fear.
Can You Still Find Love after 40?
A lot of women are convinced that finding love becomes virtually impossible after a certain age. An absurd Newsweek article from 1986 falsely claimed that a woman over 40 had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than ever getting married. Although this claim was debunked, Rosie O’Donnell’s character explains its influence perfectly in the movie Sleepless in Seattle, “But it feels true.” When something feels true, even if it’s not, it can nag at us and make us worry.
The reality however is that everyone has a different timeline for getting married. There is a lot of research to reassure you.
What Science Says About Getting Married After 40
Research from Pew says that the number of adults in the U.S. who are 18 and over and never married is increasing. In 2019, Pew Research looked at the census data and reported that about 38% of adults ages 25-54 were neither married nor living with a partner. Of those who are single, divorced, separated, and widowed, the largest group is those who never married, over 60% of all single people.
Data from the United Nations says these are worldwide trends and the percent of people who reach 50 without ever marrying is also increasing. One study showed that 26% of unmarried Americans were already in a committed relationship. There is less societal pressure to marry than in the past and people aren’t doing it.
In fact, many single people don’t even want a committed relationship. A Pew Research 2020 report of a national, random sample of nearly 5000 adults in the U.S showed that 50% of single people are not only not interested in a committed romantic relationship; they aren’t even interested in a date. This survey was taken before the pandemic began. Most said they liked being single or had more important priorities. 26% of men feared no one would be interested in them compared to 12% of women. Other reasons for lack of interest were: too busy, no luck in the past, not ready, feeling too old, or having health problems.
Those who have been married before are especially unlikely to want to try it again. Interestingly, a new 2020 study also found they do not even want a romantic partner. 75% of people over 65 aren’t interested in romance or dating.
What Does It All Mean?
I know this may look like bad news to you so far, but get this: More women are not interested in romance or dating than men. Over 71% of women over 40 are completely not interested, compared to 42% of men. If you are a woman over 40 wanting to get married, you may have an advantage! As people get older, more of them get married again. In 2013, Pew shows the rate of remarriage for singles aged 55-64 was 67%.
Numbers can only tell you so much. The real difference in whether you marry or not over 40 has more to do with your perseverance and the quality of the decisions you make on your dating journey.
Your Next Success Steps:
If you want marriage or a committed partnership, think positive. Being a woman over 40 or 45 gives you a lot of advantages that you didn’t have when you were younger. Click here to get my FREE report: Dating Over 40? Know Your 7 Secret Advantages.