Do You Make Excuses for Being Single?


Many single women looking for a relationship make excuses about why they haven’t met a good man. Often, they do this because they might feel a little defensive about being single. It’s a very common and normal thing to do, but it’s not always helpful.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?

1.     Men don’t find me attractive. Many women believe that they are single because they aren’t pretty enough. They think that they just need to go down one more jean size or find a better skin cream, and then they will meet Mr. Right. But the truth is that we are all beautiful in our own way. Plus, there are all different types of guys out there who are attracted to all different types of women. You don’t have to look like a magazine cover model in order to find a boyfriend or husband! If you struggle with this issue, try reading my blog post, Unhappy With Your Body? You’re Not Alone.

2.     If I lived (insert somewhere else), I’d be married. I often hear women say things like, “It’s so much easier for women living in the Midwest to meet decent guys. There aren’t any quality men in my area.” Most of the time, this just isn’t true! Anywhere you go, there will be good guys, and there will be jerks. There will be men who only want sex, men who want to get married, and everything in between. The key is for you to get good at figuring out which guys are worth your time and which ones aren’t.

3.     Men can’t commit. It’s very easy to blame being single on today’s hook-up culture or to lament that no man wants marriage anymore, but again, this isn’t true! Plenty of guys still want to settle down with a woman they love. You just have to find them and learn how to stop wasting your time on the guys who aren’t right for you.

4.     I have bad luck with guys. It’s true that there is some element of luck involved in meeting men, but dating also requires a tremendous amount of skill and strategy. If you think you have bad luck with men, it might be that you could benefit from improving your communication skills or learning more about yourself and what works for you. If you feel like you have bad dating luck, read my blog post, Are You Lucky in Love?

I’m sorry to tell you that it’s actually more likely that you might be single because you’re making some mistakes with the men you date. That can be a hard thing to admit to yourself, but don’t let this get you down! None of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. Realizing what errors you are making gives you a lot of power, because it means that you can change. Then, instead of feeling like you have to lose 5 pounds, move to another state, or find a needle in a haystack, you can start having more success on your dates simply by changing what you say and how you act. Plus, just seeing that you’re making some mistakes and that you might need some help to fix them is a huge first step toward getting what you want.

Often, another one of the first steps towards getting what you want is learning what to say to men. Although some questions men ask may seem easy to answer, in actuality they can lead to miscommunication or give the wrong impression. That’s why many women are unsure how to answer even the most basic questions from men. Other women think they know exactly what to say, but they’re still not getting what they want. Learning what to say can help you maintain your boundaries, stand up for yourself, express your needs, play hard to get in an attractive way, and stop yourself from overreacting.

That’s why I wrote my new ebook, What to Say to Men on a Date: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy.

This ebook is a guide to help you answer tricky questions from men in a way that you are comfortable with and fits your personality. It includes basic dating questions that most single women regularly encounter, as well as advice on how to handle men who are upset, unreasonable, or who aren’t treating you well. The ebook gives you a variety of responses to choose from ranging from serious to playful, so that you can pick the perfect one for you. All the replies are designed to get you what you want.

Start getting what you want from men. Be your own Brand of Sexy.

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